The Twilight Series - not just for teen girls anymore

Okay, so this is more than a *little* embarrassing to admit. I heard about the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer on Diaperswappers the other day and it had been a while since I'd read a good fiction book. So I sent DH on a scooter errand (he loves those these days) and he picked up the first of the three currently available books, Twilight.

I'll admit that I was thrown off a little when he told me that they sent him to the teen girls section of the bookstore, but I opened it and dove in anyway. I was hooked from page one. It's the wickedly delicious story of a beatiful vampire boy and his soul mate, the very human Bella.



I'm not totally sure what it is about the story that has me so completely entranced, but I've read through almost all three of the currently available books (the fourth comes out Aug. 2) in almost as many days. I've always tended to dive a little deep into books - even in high school I would finish them in a day or two. And of course, in my mind, I am Bella and Edward looks a lot like my husband Jared (but still a lot like Edward, too, though I don't tell my husband that) and Jacob (Bella's dear friend) looks a lot like my friend Bryan (who happens to be dating Beverly Kidd, but that's another blog).

Anyway, so the movie is coming out Dec. 12, 2008 and I am stupidly, embarrassingly excited about it. I've probably snuck a look at the preview 10 times since I started reading the books, which, I might add, are hardly for teens.



Besides the obvious reasons, I like that these books have no cussing or gratuitous sex scenes (which always send me into book-dropping shock in adult novels I've read - just a warning for those of you thinking of picking up Waiting to Exhale) but I do consider it a somewhat steamy series *fans self with hand*. It is certainly no book I'd let my future 14-year-old daughter read! But as for me, a married woman in all her mama glory - it's been a nice escape to the torrential, emotional high school days, and of course, to a vampire world that only exists in my dreams.

I'm posting this so you can enjoy these books as much as I have. Check 'em out and let me know what you think. You can learn more about the series or watch the movie preview online.

Where Do We Go From Here?

As many of you know, Jared and I have been praying for a move out of Arizona in 2010. This has been our heart for many, many years now and we are believing God to fulfill this dream, as we believe it is his dream, too.

This picture was taken during a few short minutes outside the other day, in the blazing, stupid heat of Phoenix in July. Doesn't his expression just say, "Why do we still live here, mama?"


Anyway, a few possibilities follow, and I thought it would be fun to include the pros/cons we see about the areas. Many of them are completely ridiculous and unfounded I'm sure, but that's what makes this a blog. :)

Canada
In our mind's eye (at least until recently), we thought Canada was the place for us - a hippie-loving place with universal healthcare, gorgeous scenery, a cool climate and lots of extended breastfeeding, cloth-diapering, crunchy Christian parents like us. Not so, according to my friends on Diaperswappers. Apparently Canadians surrender about half their income to the government and wait up to 10 hours to see an ER doctor. It's pretty, sure. But hippie-central? Not more so than the U.S., they say. Just like here, there are cities that are more progressive and "crunchy" and others that are old-fashioned, misinformed and could give a crap about the planet.

Tennessee
For a long time, we thought this is where we would go. My mom lives there and it's a very green, lush area with lots of lakes and rivers. It gets hot and humid in the summer but nice and brisk cold in the winter. You can definitely get your fix of layers there. But the fact that there are no laws protecting breastfeeding mothers from being arrested for public indecency, or for being removed from a public place for nursing a child older than 12 months (even discretely) says it all. Again, my DS mamas from the South have confirmed that it's annoyingly conservative and slow-moving.
Another perk (or so we thought) was that Tennessee is in the Bible Belt, but a few visits there with some of my moms friends have taught us that living in "the Belt" doesn't mean you're surrounded by people who love the Lord, just by people who claim Christianity as their faith in the same way that I claim to be white - I've just always been told I am. An interesting witnessing challenge to say the least, but I'm still not sure TN is for us. :)

Monterey, California
For almost a decade now, Jared has been friends with a wonderful pastor who has been hinting at ministering with him for years. He once pastored here in Arizona and now pastors a church of about 600 in Monterey. We know very little about this area, although one of our hearts' desires about moving is to raise our family in a place with seasons, snow, falling leaves, thunderstorms. From what I know, this doesn't fit the bill. But could we sacrifice those things for year-round sunshine and breezy, beautiful weather? Possibly. But the housing prices there are sky high, even in this economy. Despite his pastor friend's promise that the salary would be scaled up to the area's inflated cost of living, there's still almost no way we could own a home in this area.

Other Possibilities
Lately, I've brought up Wisconsin (not as urban as Chicago, but still close to my parents), Montana (we have a friend whose parents live there and the pictures are to die for), Washington (my sis lived there for a while and we *heart* everything we see and hear about the state, but again the cost of living far exceeds our projected income) and Colorado (not terribly far from Jared's parents, seems to be progressive, more moderate weather).
As you can see, we have no flippin' idea where we're going to end up. But I'm excited to see what God will do to show us the way. He's cool like that, and I know He will. In His own good (definitely-not-my-own) time. :)

Dreaming in Memory

So I'm going to diverge a bit from my usual rant of environmental and parenting topics to talk about dreams. That being said, my friend Bryan will deeply appreciate this post for more than one reason. Let it get weird. :)

what do you dream?
I dream A LOT, almost nightly, and vividly. And I usually remember my dreams, too. Some are random, funny compilations of the people in my life, like the one about Bryan and I trying out for the Spring Musical and Jared coaching us as we strained our voices to the tune of "Separate Lives."

But many of them are memories, actual days, moments, whatever, stored up in my brain. It's like I have a file drawer up there full of people, events, emotions, everything, and my subconscious decides, quite randomly, which card will be drawn that night.

And most of the time, as my husband will tell you (and to quote Buster), it's a wild, wild ride.

dreaming in memory
So I'm going to preface this by saying that my husband knows that I dream about past boyfriends and he's fine with it - he even gets a kick out of it.

In my dreams, I find myself remembering days in clear, chronological details I couldn't otherwise remember, like names and faces of people long forgotten, a food I ate, the cologne he wore, etc. Sometimes I am aware that I am dreaming: That this moment, this day, is past. This person is gone from my life - or this world, even - but that I am somehow back with them, if for a moment. And then, just like that, I can choose to stay in that moment and live it in it's entirety all over again.

Jared said I should look it up, this memory dreaming of mine, but I'm writing this before I do that. I guess I'm curious to hear other people's experiences rather that some scientists boring explanation. Besides, I'll choose the "heart" explanation over the "head" one any day.

I once dreamt about being a little girl again, sick with the flu. No one wanted me near them except my beautiful Italian grandfather. In my dream, as in real life so many years ago, I lay my head in his lap and cry because I don't feel good. But in the dream, I'm also AWARE that I'm dreaming, that he's dead now, dead at 52 before a gray hair graced his jet-black, curly haired head. It's terrible.

But more often than not, and thankfully, it's not my dead grandparents that show up in my dreams.

the people I remember
Most of the time, I dream of former friends and old flames. Last night I dreamed about the night I met one of my old boyfriends (If you're reading this - Hi, Brian!) when I was 16. And when I woke up, I not only remembered odd details - like how he ran into the bathroom when he found out how old I was - but I felt like I had just met him last night.

It's hard to explain how bizarre this experience is. The only way I can describe it is the feeling you get when you come home after going out to run errands at night, and when you walk through the door you get hit with the aroma all over again. But you had that meal nine years ago.

It's like their face is burned into my brain again, and I remember all the reasons I cared for them, loved them... (and subsequently, all of the crappy things I did or said to them). The details are so vivid - the smell of campfire on my clothes, the softness of that gray t-shirt, or just feeling so safe... And I wake up knowing I won't be able to get them out of my head until I reach out to them.

I'm sure they find it bizarre, how out of nowhere they get a phone call (at work, in Chicago no less) asking how they're doing. And I find it bizarre, and unspeakably sad, that someone can recognize my voice immediately after more than 7 years, and never return that call.

what it all means. if anything
I'm dying to get my best friend's opinion on this, seeing as how she's a psychologist and all (Post here, Lauren!), about what could trigger these memories and why I feel I can't I move on without contacting these people. Divine intervention? Possibly. Regardless, I pray for them. But that doesn't quell my need - and it does feel like a need - to reach out to them, hear their voice and feel that they're not lost to me anymore.

Luckily I have a beautiful amazing husband who humors me and likes to hear my crazy dreams and the exchanges I have with the people I get in touch with. He's over the moon when I tell him that I dream of him, though it's rare. I guess that's because (get ready to gag) I'm living the dream with him everyday. (Even though he forgets to mention that he's married in Facebook conversations, and plans to flee the country with our son because they'd have the "best chance for survival." LOL)

What do you dream? And what do you think it all means? Am I just a bored housewife who lacks adventure and substance in her life? Or is my heart telling me that I have unfinished business with some very key people from my past? The latter, I hope. My dreams, if nothing else, give me a very deep, almost aching appreciation for the people who have shaped me into the woman I am. Even the wife. The mother.

I'd love to hear your dreams. Your thoughts on this. To find out if I'm unique in my dreaming and what it all means. But most of all, I hope the people I've been dreaming of will someday remember me in the vivid, burning, brilliant detail that I remember them. And feel blessed to have done so.