My midwife went into action, putting me in touch with a great doc in Chandler and attending all my consults and visits with him thereafter. We attempted an external version in the hospital, an excruciating experience where they attempt to move the baby by basically wrestling them into position through your abdomen. After Rainn's heart decelerated three times, the doctor refused to try anymore and we were okay with that.
I spent the next few weeks praying, researching about the safety of vaginal breech birth and crying in my husband's arms. I went to my final OB appointment at 38.5 weeks, where I brought a list of about 20 questions for the doctor and spent about an hour with him. During my visit, he even brought out some ACOG Journals to confirm the studies I was citing. He was wonderful and open to the breech birth attempt. But at the end of the visit I broke down in tears and said, "It's just, if anything happens to this baby I'll never forgive myself." To which he replied, "Then go with the c-section. If you're concerned about YOU - then yes, vaginal birth is a much safer option. But if you're concern is THIS baby and getting him here safely, then do the c-section."
I'd asked God to help me make the decision that would keep us both safe, and at that moment, I felt a peace about doing the c-section. So that's what we did.
At my request, the doctor agree to do a double-layer uterine closure (to reduce the risk of uterine rupture) so that I could have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) for any future births, and he also agreed to attend that birth (since some docs won't do it).
At 39 weeks, 1 day, Rainn Isaac was born via cesarean. It was the scariest experience of my life. Jared was awesome, but just as freaked as I was.
When they took me into the OR at first, he couldn't go with me, which was terrifying. That's when they're giving you the spinal, having you lay down spread eagle while they insert the catheter and you're feeling like you're going to simultaneously blackout and throw up at the same time. Luckily my doctor has an amazing certified nurse midwife on his staff who held my hand and blotted my forehead with a cool rag until I came out of that.
When Jared came in, the horror on his face completely obvious at seeing me like that‚ I asked him to talk about River to distract me. A few minutes later, the doctor asked Jared if he wanted to stand up and look over the curtain to see the baby be born. He declined politely, only to be prompted again by the anesthesiologist. So he stood up and I watched his face go from feigned interest to complete nausea. (He later told me that right after he saw Rainn, he saw "my wife's guts" which was actually the placenta) Rainn was crying and they brought him over to me. He had a full head of dark hair and looked really different than River did. I cried.
Per our birth plan, Jared went with Rainn to the nursery to make sure they didn't give him the eye gunk (we wanted to delay it so he could see us to bond for those first few hours) or the Vitamin K shot (I'd been taking alfalfa for several weeks before and since he didn't have a traumatic birth it wasn't necessary). We also delayed his bath so he wouldn't be too tired to nurse.
After the surgery was complete and I was all sewn up, they took me back to the recovery room (which was just the room we waited in before the surgery). Rainn was still awake and he nursed like a little champ! (I didn't have any soreness or issues at all with him. It's been lovely!) Jared was so sweet. The first thing he said was, "Do you want me to tell you about him?" And proceeded to say all the little things he'd learned since we'd been separated. That he likes his head stroked, doesn't cry much, responds to Jared's voice...
My recovery has been tough. I spent 3 days in the hospital, despite my initial insistence to leave after 24 hours which my doctor actually entertained since he knew how many other things about this birth had been against my wishes. But considering that I could still barely walk, three days seemed okay to me.
My mom stayed with us for 10 days after the c-section, and then Jared took a week off, too. I'm now 3 weeks out from the birth. Still in pain - my entire abdomen from my belly button down includes patches of numbness or skin that feels painful to the touch. In a word, c-sections suck.
But I will say that I don't regret my decision. Rainn is perfect in every way, and I could not have lived with myself if he had ended up with brain damage, paralysis or worse as a result of my choice. I thank God that I didn't have any complications from the c-section, which can include a hysterectomy. Prayerfully, my future pregnancies (we only plan to have one more, maybe) won't be affected by it either.
So that's it - Rainn's birth story. And now we're all caught up. I'm off to make some lasagna for Jared for lunch! Happy Mother's Day!
